I remember being terrified of gyms because I was sure that people would look at me and think, "Why are you here?" At seventeen, and nearly two hundred pounds with no signs of stopping, I wanted to look in the mirror and see something that, frankly, seemed impossible. My entire high school career was spent waking up in the morning determined to eat perfect and begin my revolution, only to reach lunch having failed in every way, thus sending my self deprecating thoughts into overdrive. 

​

My senior year in high school, I asked my mom for a session with a personal trainer for Christmas. All we could afford was one, but I was excited nonetheless. We had a good workout, but in the long run, it wasn't the exercise that changed my life. He asked me what I drink. I answered honestly, "Diet Pepsi and milk." He asked me if I could stick to just water and tea for one month. Looking back, had he thrown everything at me, I would have been so overwhelmed and given up, but instead, he gave me one challenge. The first week with just water and tea was pretty easy, the second week was harder, the third was torture, and finally the fourth week, I got past the misery. For the first time I stuck with something. Rather than proving to myself that I was useless and lazy, I had proven to myself that I, in fact, had discipline. 

​

This one session led me on a long rise-and-fall journey of proving to myself time and again, that despite the devil on my shoulder, things were possible. This is ultimately what led to The FitXChange, what led to being published for my fiction novels, and what led to my passion for helping others see that ONE OUNCE OF SUCCESS, leads to more than you thought possible. 

​

Once I built clientele as a trainer, I quickly found that there was so much more to getting healthy. I was dealing with psyche. We all are dealing with trauma and addictions. So The FitXChange turned into a place about healing and growth. It turned into a place that houses Personal Trainers building their own businesses. We have offered creative courses including singing and dancing, all because health is beyond the body. 

​

I sometimes think about who I used to be and the devastating years that I lost myself to insecurity. If only I had known what I know now. Let yourself know that it's okay. That the small steps are more important than the big. That the journey is without destination. That it doesn't have to be painful or torturous, but rather smarter not harder. 

​

If you want to Minimize the Noise in your mind to Maximize your life, come find me at Tessavanwade.com. 

​

Love,

Tessa

​